A Private Conversation

Last week I went to the theatre. I had a very good seal. The play was very interesting. I did not enjoy it. A young man and a young woman were fitting behind me. They were talking loudly. I got very angry. I could not hear the actors I turned round. I looked at the man and the woman angrily. They did not pay any attention. In the end, I could not bear it. I turned round again. "I can’t hear a word!”, I said angrily. "It’s none of your business," the young man said rudely. “This is a private conversation!’"

English Custom

This story is about two Indians settled in England. One had been living there for some years and had picked up some of their quaint euphemisms. The other, recent settler, was as yet unaware of them. They were invited for dinner by their English friends. After they had had their drinks, their hostess asked then, "would you like a wash before I serve dinner?"

The knowledgeable one replied, "No, thanks". The new settler replied, "I wash my hand before I came."

On their way back after dinner, the older settler admonished his friend, "My dear chap, in England, 'would you like a wash' doesn't mean 'would you like to wash your hands.' it is a polite way of asking 'would you like to urinate?". The new settler made a mental note of it.

Some days later he was invited by another English friend and after he had his drinks he was asked by his hostess: "Would you like a wash before I serve my dinner?"

He replied promptly, "No, thank you, Madam. I washed against a tree before coming to your house."